In the morning, I usually drink a cup of Earl Gray tea and turn on the news for a few minutes before leaving for work. But this last week, I stopped turning on the TV. I realized that listening to the newscasters’ gloom and doom predictions greatly affected the start of my morning. It created a feeling of anxiety and worry that clouded my day. Instead, I’ve spent extra time in prayer and reflecting on kindness. Precisely the phrase, “kinder than is necessary.”
When I read the book Wonder, by R.J. Palacio, I highlighted a passage where the school principal, Mr. Tushman, gave a graduation speech. He used a quote by J.M. Barrie, which was my introduction to the phrase, “kinder than necessary.” The words of this speech seem very timely for today.
“In The Little White Bird, J.M. Barrie writes, ‘Shall we make a new rule of life…always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?’ Here Mr. Tushman looked up at the audience. “Kinder than is necessary,” he repeated. “What a marvelous line, isn’t it? Kinder than is necessary. Because it’s not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed…We carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind but the very choice of kindness…Children, what I want to impart to you today is an understanding of the value of that simple thing called kindness…In the future you make for yourselves, anything is possible. If every single person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary…And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God.”
What a sad commentary on our society that kindness seems to be the exception, not the rule. We no longer can “agree to disagree” but feel impelled to force another to agree. If others don’t agree with our viewpoint, we violently push them out of our lives. Free discourse no longer exists. It’s my way or the highway.
In Matthew 5:41-42, Jesus spoke to his disciples on the subject of how to treat others. I love the Message version of these verses.
“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.”
“Live generously.”
“Practice the servant life.”
In other words, choose to be kinder than is necessary.
Choose the challenging, more difficult path of kindness. Be counter-cultural, be kinder than is necessary.
Be the face of God in a dark world that needs the light of kindness.
Love this! You’re such a talented writer!
Thank you, Tabatha! You are always so encouraging!
What an awesome admonition to live life with a “kinder than is necessary” attitude. God grant that I might always do just that!
Such a simple idea – just be kinder than is necessary! All of us need to apply this to our day!